Excerpts from the book of Anthony Bourdain

My mother-in-law would always apologize before serving dinner when I was in attendance, saying, ‘This must seem pretty ordinary for a chef . . .’ She had no idea how magical, how reassuring, how pleasurable her simple meat loaf was for me, what a delight even lumpy mashed potatoes were — being, as they were, blessedly devoid of truffles or truffle oil.

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Skills can be taught. Character you either have or don’t have.

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Prior Preparation Prevents Poor Performance

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A dish is 86’ed when there’s no more. But you can use the term for someone who’s just been fired, or about to be fired, or for a bar customer who’s no longer welcome.

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One doesn’t refer to a table of six or a table of eight; it’s a six-top or an eight-top. Two customers at a table are simply a deuce. ‘Weeded’ means ‘in the weeds’, ‘behind’, ‘in the shit’ or ‘dans la merde — a close cousin and possible outcome of being ‘slammed’, ‘buried’ or ‘hit’. A waitron or waitron unit is an old-school ’70s, term — gender non-specific — for floor personnel, who are also, at staff mealtime, referred to as the floor or the family or simply scum. And the meal itself becomes — particularly if it’s the usual trinity of chicken, pasta and salad — the shaft meal or the gruel.

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Okay, I can put on a jacket, go out for dinner and a movie, and I can eat with a knife and fork without embarrassing my hosts. But can I really behave? I don’t know.

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